Burgernoodle

Brooke Hogan, the daughter of the infamous wrestler and star of “Brooke Knows Best” is perhaps a bigger idiot than Heidi Montag.  I know that’s a pretty big statement, but so was hers on last night’s episode of her moronic reality show.  When interviewing a potential roommate, Brooke claims she’s “not that into voting” and goes on to say, “I think that it’s kind of crazy that a woman is running because I think that women deal in emotion, and menopause, and PMS, and stuff…”

I can’t say I’m suprised given her chromosome donors, but well, yeah, I am a bit suprised.  Sorry Darwinism, you lose - the stupid people really are taking over.  Here’s the video:

In case you missed last night’s educational, mind-expanding episode of Big Brother 10, here you go:  Tool with the muscles loves his muscles and anyone else in the house who also loves his muslces.  He is this week’s HOH.  Girl with the big hair and the east coast accent (I can’t be more specific about the geographical origin of the accent) wins POV and decides to keep those other two tools up on the block, thus squashing the one and only chance of something actually happening in this episode.  Two old people fight with a few other tools in the house regarding something related to being old.  There were some tooth-brushing shots, some outfit changes, but mainly just a bunch of boring people lying around pretending to scheme; which must be a bit challenging with limited brain functionality. 

Tune in tomorrow for another exciting recap of tonight’s show.  If CBS’s sole reason for airing this show is to get us excited about Fall TV, it is definitely working.

Estelle Getty, otherwise known as the fiesty Sophia Petrillo from ‘The Golden Girls’ passed away today at the age of 84.  The show, which ran from 1985 to 1992, was a huge television hit and thanks to the Lifetime network and its 3-a-day reruns, became something of a cult classic just in the last few years.  I mean, I know a 31 year old with a signed photo of Betty White and a portrait of Rose, Blanche, Dorothy, and Sofia on her key chain, but I’m not naming any names. 

The show was pure comedic brilliance, taking four women in their 60s, giving them each a character that could only be hilarious within the context of the other three, and sticking them in the Miami singles scene.  It was the Sex And The City of the late 80s, but instead of 30-somethings donning New York fashion in the hipster club scene, they were senior citizens dressed in mumus out on the lanai.  Basically doing the same thing: making fun of each other and talking about men.

We will certainly all miss that sharp-tongued little Sicilian lady and those one-liners she so notoriously pounded out every episode:

Rose [about a colleague at work]: I know if he got to know me he’d like me.
Sophia: Why, I got to know you and I don’t like you.
Rose: You just say that.
Sophia: Repeatedly.

Deadline Hollywood Daily is reporting the unfortunate news that Baby Mama and SNL star, Amy Poehler is planning to leave SNL to star in The Office spinoff show.  The new show is rumored to make its debut on Superbowl Sunday in February ‘09, right after The Office.  NBC should have figured out by now that spinoff shows (ahem, Joey) just don’t really work.  My only hope is that Amy Poehler can defy history and make this the second funniest show on primetime TV.  My other only hope is that her husband, Will Arnett, better known as Gob Bluthe, joins the endeavor.  And my last only hope is that those two make a baby to balance out the Simpson-Wentz offspring.

So I caught a little glimpse of this lady on NBC’s America’s Got Talent and let me just say, it’s frightening beyond all belief.  Some crazy doctor somewhere has replaced her womanly parts with little ninjas made of steel.  You would think that at some point (maybe when her brazier required bungee cord assembly), Busty Heart here would just say enough is enough.  Nope, she decided to go on TV.

Actually, I didn’t.  Watch about 10 minutes of it and you’ll know why.  It’s amusing for all of 3 minutes and then it’s quite possibly the most annoying thing, aside from a Full House marathon, to ever air on television.

Premise: Slightly stupid (opinion) American contestants are “kidnapped” and taken to Japan, where they must live, compete, and learn to embrace the Japanese culture. The competition part of the show comes in when these contestants have to take part in some of the most ridiculous and outrageous game shows they’ve ever seen.  Each week, one player is eliminated from the competition until the last person standing takes home the $250,000 prize.

This summer’s finest “Celebreality” show airs Sunday nights at 9 on VH1.  If you haven’t yet seen this little gem of a show, you are really missing out.  It’s “The Batchelor” with a bottle of whiskey, way less clothing, and a few hundred more tattoos.  Did I say “less clothing”?  I meant no clothing.  Bret Michaels (lead singer of hard rock band, Poison) searches for love the only way anyone knows how to these days…on national television with 25 potential mates to chose from.  I haven’t totally figured out why this show is so fantastic.  Is it because Bret Michaels is a veritable Rock God (heh heh)?  Because you’d rather meet Freddie Kruger in a dark alley before one of these ladies?  Or simply because watching the show makes you feel better about being you?  It’s a mystery that will only reveal itself as the show rolls on week after week.  Some highlights: the songwriting competition in which the women had to woo Bret with their music-making skills; Bret serenading Jess with a “new” song that was basically “Every rose has it’s thorn” with different lyrics; and Heather, the professional stripper, trying to pass as a 32 yr old.  Check it out next Sunday then check back here for more highlights…