Burgernoodle

According to the Herald Tribune, 50 Cent has sued Taco Bell for unauthorized use of his name in a nation-wide advertising campaign.  Court papers filed by the rapper, who’s real name is Curtis Jackson, say the chain did not get 50 Cent’s endorsement for their “Why Pay More” campaign which features the rapper being asked to change his name to 79 Cent, 89 Cent or 99 Cent.  The papers say the Irvine, Calif.-based company sent a bogus letter requesting the name change to the news media but not to the rapper.

Fiddy accused the Mexican-style fast food chain of “diluting the value of his good name” (Clearly the rapper has not tried the Cheesy Gordita Crunch!!) and is seeking $4 million in damages. 

Of course he did.  Wouldn’t you?

British media reported that Bale’s mother and sister told police he assaulted them at the Dorchester Hotel in London on Sunday night, a day before attending the European premiere of “The Dark Knight.”  Australian 7 News (definitely my news source of choice) declared that Heath Ledger’s death was to blame for the outburst.  Because blame should be placed where blame is due, dammit!  God forbit we suggest Mr. Bale take a crash course in anger management.  Poor guy is just mourning the loss of his friend; mom and sis just happened to get in the way of his mourning fist.*

*i highly doubt fists were involved.

In 2006, Lou Pearlman, the man behind such boy bands as Backstreet Boys and N’Sync, was sentenced to 25 years in prison for the largest ever Ponzi scheme - for more than 20 years Pearlman enticed individuals and banks to invest in Transcontinental Airlines Travel Services Inc. and Transcontinental Airlines Inc., which existed only on paper.  Now federal authorities are ordering Pearlman to pay a hefty sum of $300 million to the individuals and banks that he ripped off.

How he plans to pay off this mammoth debt is a mystery that will only reveal itself with time and quite a handful of prison jobs.  According to Yahoo! News:

“It will be difficult for Pearlman to repay all the money while he is behind bars. Pearlman made millions in the record industry in the 1990s, but investigators have found that money and more seemingly gone with the collapse of his Ponzi scheme…He’s been allowed to manage — at arm’s length — the few remaining music acts he still has. He could also offer wages from whatever job he gets in federal prison, ranging from 12 cents an hour to $1.15 an hour for top-scale factory work.”

I’m no CPA, but I just plugged $1.15/hr X 40 hrs/week X however many years this guy has left into the portion of my brain that does mind math and I did not come up with $300 million. 

Above is a picture of Lou in happier times, looking like he maybe swallowed the 3rd, 4th, and 5th members of N’Sync (the first and second being Justin Timberlake and Lance Bass, of course).