Burgernoodle

This is what Bon Jovi looked like the last time their record hit #1 on the Billboard charts.  Those were the days of “New Jersey”… the great 80s.  Oh how we miss that pop metal goodness.  19 years later, their latest album “Lost Highway” hits No. 1 again, selling 292,000 copies just last week.  Time will tell if the album is any good (check the Reviews page in about a week), but it sure as shit must be better than that “Have a Nice Day” nonsense.  Plus it beat out the White Stripes new album by about 70,000.  Could it have been Jon Bon Jovi’s star performance in this past season’s American Idol?  Richie Sambora’s celebrity hook-ups?  Their new country fan base?  The fact that their newest radio single is sounding more and more like Snow Patrol?  Is it because Phil Stacey went down in a blaze of glory???  Again time will tell.

Tickets to the Treasure Island Music Festival, a music extravaganza smack dab in the middle of the San Francisco Bay, went on sale yesterday.  Skip to it and order them now before the scalpers of the world shamelessly buy out both days and resell them for 3 x the ticket price.  Saturday will feature dance and electronica, or what know-it-alls like to call trip-hop, and Sunday will be reserved for brooding indie-rocker acts.  Your trippy dippy Saturday could lead to a cool Sunday of sipping on Pabst Blue Ribbon, followed by a potential “sick day” on Monday.  Headlining bands include Theivery Corporation, Gotan Project, and DJ Shadow (Saturday)…and Modest Mouse, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, Built To Spill, and M. Ward (Sunday).  There’s a little something for everyone, cause we’re all about diversity here in the Bay Area.  Show is September 15th & 16th, and tickets are $58/day or $110 for both.

Avril Levigne has teamed up with 17 year old Brooklyn rapper, Lil Mama, to remake her latest single ‘Girlfriend’, which you can see right here in this funny little video that looks like it was shot in 1992.  All the graffiti, pink mustang shots, and chick rappers will make you nostalgic for your old salt ‘n peppa tapes.  Well, maybe.  Regardless, it’s so fun to watch Avril play pretend guitar…check it out.

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E! Online reports that Clear Channel Communications in Florida has been bullied by Britany Spears’ attorneys to take down billboards promoting a crraaazzy local radio show because they used those psycho bald photos of the pop singer that anyone with a computer or an US magazine subscription has seen about a gazillion times.  What’s another billboard plastered along the highway gonna do?  Convince the 75 year olds driving from Tampa to Jacksonville that they shouldn’t buy any future Britney albums because she belongs in the loony bin?  Well guess what, those folks are driving to the loony bin and they can barely see the road…let alone those billboards.  Ageist jokes aside, it may be time to make fun of a different washed up pop star.  And really, isn’t it also time for us to take a wee bit of responsibility for her alleged craziness?  We didn’t put the cheetos in her mouth, but it’s likely we put those clippers in her hands.  The lesson here?  Start breeding tougher pop stars.

It’s happening.  Our first idol success, who has been an unstoppable pop force for half a decade now, is cancelling her summer tour due to unfavorable ticket sales.  The tour was to promote her upcoming album, “My December” - an album that already put her in heated waters with top record execs because of their concern about the direction of the album.  Clarkson, ever the tough idol, chose to follow her own artistic intuitions, basically making the argument that she has earned her right to make her own music.  Although we should applaud her brave efforts to maintain her creative voice, clearly those rich old white men do know a little something about selling music to the masses.  If she wants to listen to the little voice inside Kelly’s head and not Clive Davis’, then she might want to forget about those sold out arenas.  Perhaps Justin Guarini is looking to make another sweet summer musical…